We humans fight a lot with each other. We fight because we disagree, feel threatened or feel like we have been hurt by someone else. This article explores the notion that all this is nonsensical when placed in the correct context. When we understand each other at a deep level it becomes literally impossible to judge and therefore relatively easy to understand the other person’s subjective world. If we can get to this place in our consciousness, our own world will become a more serene and joyful place to be. (Please note that the author doesn’t claim to ‘live in this place’ 24/7 but he gets better all the time 
).
Why do you think the way you do? Where do all the beliefs and values that you hold on to come from? If you can answer these questions then you can understand that your world view is simply one of many and in no way is it an objective way of seeing things. That’s not to say that none of your beliefs are true in an absolute sense, they could be, but even this doesn’t excuse aggressive or argumentative behavior towards those who haven’t acquired this truth. The vast majority of the world’s population, however, never take a look at themselves long enough to even inquire about their own scripting in the first place. With this fact established, fighting and even full-blown wars are to be expected as normal in such a world. It all boils down to a lack of understanding.
The Programs in our Minds
There is a great analogy that I feel is quite fitting here. If we take a computer for example, here we have the hardware and the software. The hardware being the physical component parts, the software being the programs installed on the hard drive. If we run the installed programs the computer performs a certain operation mostly, if not totally, on autopilot. We can also close a program or uninstall it entirely.
Now to the human. We have a physical make-up too i.e. our hardware with many different component parts. Our mind is the hard drive and our programs are installed in the subconscious part of that mind. Like software we are running and closing these programs all the time and the bad news is, a lot of the time we don’t even like them. For example, take the woman who gets nervous in a crowd of people. The external stimuli has triggered a program in her mind, her ‘Nervous/ Inferiority’ program. Another person in this same situation might get excited about meeting new people, they are running an entirely different program. External events have absolutely no meaning in themselves, we first give them a meaning and then our behaviors reflect this meaning.
How did our Programs get Installed?
So how exactly did we each end up owning the programs that we do? We started forming our beliefs and values from a very early age. It is a common belief today that children up to the age of 6 are operating out of the subconscious / unconscious part of their mind entirely. This means that they are like a dry sponge soaking up everything that they see around them and forming a personality that will largely reflect their environment. If, for example, a young child constantly sees aggression and hatred in their daily life, it is very likely that they will adopt these traits themselves as it sees them as the norm and probably necessary to get through life. They might accept the belief that you have to constantly ‘fight your corner’ in life, or that ‘life is a battle a day.’ On the other hand, if a child that is surrounded by loving people, outwardly showing affection for each other, it is very likely that this child will grow into a person of the same ilk.
There are a multitude of programs that are installed in our minds that are limiting and destructive. These can have their root in your childhood, from school, parents, your church, work colleagues or any other social/peer group. The thing is, many of these limiting beliefs might seem ridiculous to you now consciously. I personally used to hold very limiting beliefs around money, spirituality and relationships amongst others. Imagine how a belief that says, “If a girl isn’t possessive of you, it means she doesn’t love you” would affect you and those closest to you. Or, “All relationships are constant hard work and will end in a mess someday”. What could one expect to be the outcome of holding such beliefs? Take jealousy as an example, jealousy is absolutely pathetic and needs to be eradicated from your consciousness as soon as possible. An examination of it will probably lead you to the conclusion that it is based upon a ‘Lack Mentality.’ “There’s only so much to go around and we must fight in competition with each other to get our share!” - such a limiting, destructive belief yet almost all of us were offered this belief from an early age and we accepted it as true, much to our disadvantage.
How do these Programs affect us?
Our beliefs, values and references have the power to limit us severely or liberate us completely, it just depends upon the content. They act as a filter for what we experience externally and determine the meaning we give to the events of our life. The meaning then determines our behavior. Because we all have different ways of filtering our experience and determining meaning, disagreements and tensions are inevitable. Take, for example, the horrific terrorist actions of 9/11. The vast majority of the world was hurt and saddened by the events of that day. Some people, though, saw it as a cause for celebration, a great victory - why? Simply because their perceptual filters gave it that meaning.
The Self-Actualized Programmer
I’m not asking anyone to feel compelled to like other people’s subjective take on the world but when we begin to understand the ‘why’ behind who they are, we become understanding people. Those rare individuals in the world that have stood apart from their own programming and consciously amended it to their own liking and benefit are what Abraham Maslow referred to as the ‘Self-Actualized.’ A Self-Actualized person is a true creator of their own reality. They are those people who have gone from believing that they themselves were their programming, to realizing that they are, in fact, the programmer.
If you understand and believe what I have just said, you will find it increasingly difficult to ever feel anger, resentment, disgust or anything like this for another human being again. True, these self-destructive emotions do not fade away overnight but you will never be able to judge in the same manner in which you once might have. Understanding and compassion are inevitable once you accept this truth.
The world is billions of people with unique filters creating their own subjective viewpoint. They then seek out others with similar filters to bond with whilst avoiding those people with conflicting ones, in extreme cases hating or even killing them. Most of the world is presently asleep, simply running programs and finding fault with each other. Self-actualization will bring all this to an end.
Mark McManus
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