Are You A Striver Or An Arriver!
Are you a goal-setter? I am, and I‘ve come to realise that I will never arrive, and neither will you. This is the realisation that hit me almost a year ago, so I think it‘s time I share it. Have you noticed that when you set a goal, you think everything will be perfect when you achieve it? Then, once it has been achieved and you grow accustomed to it, what do you do? Yes, you set a new one. The question is, will this cycle ever end? Do you ever really arrive?
To illustrate the point, think of your life up until now. Most people follow a pattern similar to this:
- When you were in Primary School, you thought to yourself, “I‘ll be a big boy/girl when I get to Junior High, yes that‘ll be the day!”
- So you get the Junior High and after a while decide that this isn‘t it. Actually, Grammar school is when you‘re really cool.
- Nope, this isn‘t it either, but when I get to Upper Sixth, that‘ll be something. All those free periods and extra freedom, I‘ll really be a man/woman then!
- What was I thinking? School is for kids! I‘m going to University or I‘ll get a job, I‘ll be a proper adult and live happily ever-after.
- Hmmm, I‘m going to need a car. Wow, now that‘s when I‘ll really have my independence!
- This job is a pain in the ass and this car is costing me a fortune! When I get a better paying job, that‘s when I‘ll be happy.
- Ok, got the new job but the stress is killing me, if only I had an easier job, then I‘d be content. I need to settle down. When I have a wife a kids I‘ll feel happier and more fulfilled as a person. I hear marriage is where it‘s at!
- A few years later, you hear divorce is where it‘s at! Yes, once I get my freedom back and get out of here, I can really start living!
- God, only 20 more years to go to retirement, I‘ll really be happy then! I just need to get these last 20 years in and then finally, after all my hardships, I‘ll really be happy.
- Retirement comes, hooray! But you know, I would be happier if the kids came and visited me more often. I need to join a club, then I‘ll be happy.
Notice What’s Happening?
So I think you‘ll see the pattern here. I couldn‘t find the actual statistic but many people that don‘t find a purpose or meaning for their lives after retirement, die within 18 months of leaving work. So, if you‘re working all your life, waiting on retirement, realise that you‘ll never be happy as you‘ll never let yourself be happy. What‘s the solution?
Be Happy NOW!
By all means set goals and strive to better yourself. This adds excitement and passion to your life but never, at any stage, make your happiness dependent upon the achievement on your goals. You must enjoy where you are on the way to where you are going. Choose to arrive now, no matter where you are in your life.
Look around you and be grateful for what you have right now. Start with yourself and work outwards. If you are of good health, be extremely grateful! How much is a healthy heart worth? Be grateful for your vision, hearing and so on. Then, if you‘re at home, be grateful for the room you are in and all that‘s in it, then your spouse and kids, then the house, then your extended family, your job, workmates, clubs/societies, country and on and on.
If you can‘t truly appreciate where you are now, the fact is that you don‘t have the mindset that is capable of ever arriving. It‘s true, if you are looking out for what‘s wrong or what‘s missing in life, what makes you think it‘s going to be any different when you achieve your goals? It‘s not what‘s outside that needs to change, but what‘s inside. If you can cultivate this mindset, you can strive and arrive at the same time, now that’s living!
Mark McManus
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March 20th, 2007 11:48
[...] Mark McManus presents Are You A Striver Or An Arriver! posted at Build Your Life To Order ™, saying, “Are you a goal-setter? I am, and I’ve come to realise that I will never arrive, and neither will you. This is the realisation that hit me almost a year ago, so I think it’s time I share it.” [...]