Are You A Striver Or An Arriver!

Are you a goal-setter? I am, and Ive come to realise that I will never arrive, and neither will you. This is the realisation that hit me almost a year ago, so I think its time I share it. Have you noticed that when you set a goal, you think everything will be perfect when you achieve it? Then, once it has been achieved and you grow accustomed to it, what do you do? Yes, you set a new one. The question is, will this cycle ever end? Do you ever really arrive?

To illustrate the point, think of your life up until now. Most people follow a pattern similar to this:

- When you were in Primary School, you thought to yourself, “Ill be a big boy/girl when I get to Junior High, yes thatll be the day!”

- So you get the Junior High and after a while decide that this isnt it. Actually, Grammar school is when youre really cool.

- Nope, this isnt it either, but when I get to Upper Sixth, thatll be something. All those free periods and extra freedom, Ill really be a man/woman then!

- What was I thinking? School is for kids! Im going to University or Ill get a job, Ill be a proper adult and live happily ever-after.

- Hmmm, Im going to need a car. Wow, now thats when Ill really have my independence!

- This job is a pain in the ass and this car is costing me a fortune! When I get a better paying job, thats when Ill be happy.

- Ok, got the new job but the stress is killing me, if only I had an easier job, then Id be content. I need to settle down. When I have a wife a kids Ill feel happier and more fulfilled as a person. I hear marriage is where its at!

- A few years later, you hear divorce is where its at! Yes, once I get my freedom back and get out of here, I can really start living!

- God, only 20 more years to go to retirement, Ill really be happy then! I just need to get these last 20 years in and then finally, after all my hardships, Ill really be happy.

- Retirement comes, hooray! But you know, I would be happier if the kids came and visited me more often. I need to join a club, then Ill be happy.

Notice What’s Happening?

So I think youll see the pattern here. I couldnt find the actual statistic but many people that dont find a purpose or meaning for their lives after retirement, die within 18 months of leaving work. So, if youre working all your life, waiting on retirement, realise that youll never be happy as youll never let yourself be happy. Whats the solution?

Be Happy NOW!

By all means set goals and strive to better yourself. This adds excitement and passion to your life but never, at any stage, make your happiness dependent upon the achievement on your goals. You must enjoy where you are on the way to where you are going. Choose to arrive now, no matter where you are in your life.

Look around you and be grateful for what you have right now. Start with yourself and work outwards. If you are of good health, be extremely grateful! How much is a healthy heart worth? Be grateful for your vision, hearing and so on. Then, if youre at home, be grateful for the room you are in and all thats in it, then your spouse and kids, then the house, then your extended family, your job, workmates, clubs/societies, country and on and on.

If you cant truly appreciate where you are now, the fact is that you dont have the mindset that is capable of ever arriving. Its true, if you are looking out for whats wrong or whats missing in life, what makes you think its going to be any different when you achieve your goals? Its not whats outside that needs to change, but whats inside. If you can cultivate this mindset, you can strive and arrive at the same time, now that’s living!

Mark McManus

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